“There has been so much debate going on lately in groups, blogs and magazines about the shortage of good men. In fact, studies have been done that outline in numbers where available men are, how many are in interracial relationships, how many are married, divorced, etc. However, what none of these studies and discussions did with great detail was identify what a man or even a “good man” consisted of. Let me be clear, today’s blog isn’t a male bashing article, and the term “good man” is as subjective as the person using it. This is a call to action for men and an educational enhancement for women. But I have sat silent for far too long, and for us to get back to being the kings that our queens need, this had to be said…
- Every male above the age of 18 is not a man. He is legally an adult in most states, but some are no more of a man than a puppy that is big enough to be a dog.
- Some boys are not being taught what manhood is. Manhood is so much more than you being the only male in your house so you can be called “the man of the house.” Manhood requires growth, maturity, responsibility, accountability, action, respect, determination and most definitely prayer.
- Being a grown ass man requires no introduction. How many times have you heard someone say they were a “grown ass man” and yet for the life of you, you simply could not see it because their actions did not fit your ideals of what a “grown ass man” would do or how one should act? Being a “grown ass man” is what others see, not what you say about yourself.
- Every true man is REAL, therefore keeping it real is irrelevant. Whether you like what a man says or not, if he has shown himself to be true, then he is real. Saying that you want a real man only means that you want a different man.
- A man takes care of home. He cleans, he shops, he fixes, he disciplines, he nurtures, he supports, he does WHATEVER is necessary to help ensure the success of his family.
- A man understands that his praise is not immediate, but it happens over time. When things fall in line, his success will come and when it comes, so does the praise.
- A man cries and can share his pain with others. There is no such thing as a man not crying. All that means is that he has repressed his emotions, which usually ends up coming out some other way: Usually it’s the wrong way, against the wrong person.
- A man is understanding and respectful. He understands that being rude is not going to get him the desired effect, and he recognizes that things are not always going to go his way all of the time.
- A man is supportive. He understands that he does not need to try and fix everything every time. Sometimes all he needs to do is listen and lend support when needed.
- A man does not run from his responsibilities. Whether it be taking care of home, paying child support, going to work, going to church, going wherever. A man is going to meet every challenge head on, even when he does not want to.
There are so many more parts to what a man is, and I will be delving into this and much, much more this year. However, if a man is doing the things I have already mentioned, he does not have to try and be the head of the household…he IS the head of the household. If you are a single woman and you had a man that was doing these things but he was not “real” enough for you, by all means please do a self assessment. Not every problem in a relationship is attached to the other party. There are “good guys” out there and they are looking for you, all you need to do is be ready when he finds you. Fellas, if you are reading this, I have provided you with a road map of what I have always known a man to be. Some women grew up with these types of men in their lives and they want to know that you will protect them and provide for them if they get with you. So by all means, step up to the plate and be what you were designed by God to be…”
Having read that… I think we can apply it to what a real woman is too! 🙂 Feel free to go back up to read everything but replacing ‘man’ with ‘woman’ and the ‘he’ with ‘she’… 😉