The chemistry in a relationship… what it really is:
It’s one thing to have feelings for someone, it’s another to have that indescribable, instant connection that immediately draws the two of you together.
When you and your partner have good chemistry it’s like witnessing a waterfall. It’s an instant ease that washes over you and makes you feel perfect without even trying.
Especially in the beginning, when everything is new and yet-to-be-discovered, it’s hard to differentiate between what’s spark-worthy and what’s just entertaining. Once you feel that special buzz, you’ll recognize what it is.
You know why you two are perfect for each other, and yet you’re not quite able to put your finger on it.
What is real chemistry?
1. You’re completely comfortable with yourself in front of the other person
You know it’s true chemistry when you don’t feel like you need to filter what you say or change who are you around them. You’re totally at ease with yourself because there’s a familiarity between the two of you.
You know that if you do slip and say something weird, they’ll find it all the more endearing. You can be the person you want to be and you don’t need to think twice about it afterwards.
2. You’re accepting of the other person’s obvious flaws
No one is perfect; but it doesn’t matter because you like this person’s flaws just as much as you admire their strengths.
We all have our apparent shortcomings, be it our vocabulary, our looks, our tempers or our tendency to snort when we laugh.
The person you have chemistry with recognizes these traits and easily moves past them. They know who you are and that’s way more important than the fact that you snore at night.
3. You both aren’t afraid to say how much you like each other
When real chemistry is involved, there’s no need to play games or to fake hard-to-get in order to intrigue your partner. It’s obvious early on that both of you are into each other.
And you’d prefer it that way too, since you have a hard time hiding your feelings anyway. You want to tell the other person how you feel.
4. You feel more confident around them
You know it’s chemistry when being around your partner has an immediate, positive effect on you. It takes little more than their sheer presence to build you up and boost your confidence.
You don’t need to hide anything — they want to know everything about you. This notion alone gives you the assurance to be yourself.
5. You share the same values…
You both are in agreement that The Strokes trump The Smiths any day. Chocolate ice cream cones win out over vanilla every time. And rainy days, like sunny days, must be taken full advantage of. These are just the non-negotiables.
There’s something really special in finding the one other person whose idea of a good time is the same as yours.
6. … But aren’t afraid to challenge them on their beliefs
Even if you differ in your opinions, the chemistry is still there when you’re able to comfortably question the other person and know they won’t retaliate. You two have an open dialogue right off the bat, which ultimately brings you both closer.
7. You aren’t thinking about other people when you’re together
You know you genuinely have chemistry with someone when they are the only person who occupies your thoughts.
You don’t need to fill your mind with other people because you have the most enthralling thing in front of you. Chemistry prevents you from succumbing to distractions and keeps you focused on the person who is present.
8. You aren’t afraid to touch or lock eyes
Not only can you not keep your hands off each other, but you also can’t look away from them. It’s a sign of a certain comfortability when you are able to hold your partner’s gaze.
9. You respect their vulnerability
You want them to be completely candid around you, and you respect them without judgment when they admit something difficult. You don’t censor yourself either. You both want to get to know the other on a deeper level, and that means opening up and making ourselves vulnerable.
10. You know what the other person is about to say… and you let them finish
It’s the instant inside jokes and bonafide excitement that prevents you from going a day without speaking. Even though you can already finish each other’s thoughts, you want to hear them say it themself. It just sounds better.
11. You both happily compromise
Right off the bat, you are fulfilled when you see this other person happy. You commit to things you wouldn’t normally try simply because you know you’ll have fun just being around your partner.
Real chemistry means your compromises don’t feel like compromises because everyone wins if you’re together
[c/o L. Argintar]