A Mother’s letter to her DIL

A revised excerpt of a beautiful letter from a Mother to her future DIL (Daughter-in-law):

“… I’ve been where you are. I’ve sat in your position wondering how you can make your new family like you a little better, or wondering if they will ever like you at all. I’ve felt the rush of nerves as you prepare to meet your new in-laws. I’ve felt every moment you are experiencing. By writing this I want to help calm your nerves. I want you to know that I’m on your side because you are an important piece to the puzzle.

When you meet me you will clutch to his hand like it is your life support. You will worry and stress about what you wear and how your hair will look. You’ll be afraid to speak up truthfully and you will want to crawl in a hole and hide rather than “meet the ‘in-laws’.” Can I share a little secret with you?
I’m looking forward to meeting you.

Do you know how important you are to my son?
How vital you are to his trajectory in life?
I don’t look at you and see a uterus with a head attached; as if your whole purpose in life is to give me grandbabies.
I look at you as the missing piece to the puzzle.

Other people come into our children’s lives and maybe they rough up some edges, or maybe they soften them. Experiences and people change who our children grow to be.

I pray that you are a woman among women.
I pray that you know the Lord deeply and profoundly.
I pray that you are a good woman in a storm.
I pray that you love yourself and are confident in who you are so that you have a happy, wonderful, and beautiful marriage with my Son.

We might not agree on everything, and I may be too strong with my views, but I will always remember that you are his present and future, and pray that your union is everlasting.

You are a piece in the puzzle. A very important piece.
You will make him a better man.
You will make him stronger.
You will make him feel things he’s never felt before.
You will heighten the urge to protect within him.
You will show him mercy.
You will teach him grace.
You will love him at his worst.
You will love him at his best.
You will give him the gift of children.
You will show him how to be a great father by being a great mother.
You will look after him.
You will move mountains for him.
You will be an immovable rock in a constantly shifting world.
You will be his best friend.
You will hold him.
You will stand behind him.
You will stand beside him.
You will challenge him.
You will push him.
You will pull him.
You will teach him intimacy.
You will love him unconditionally.
You will experience life together.
You will be his partner through it all.
You will be his best friend.

Do not fear me. Do not think that I do not cherish you. I love you. I love what you mean to my son. I love that God brought you into our lives to make him a better man. To do the things I never could as a mother.

I will hope I have done my best by you, raising a man among men. A leader among leaders. And to help him be strong, resilient, brave, loving, and humble. A good man in a storm.

Your future Mother-in-Law”

~ Kelsea, & Jesse – J.A.P Cupcakes


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