Falling in love

Falling in love is the most memorable moment of your life – each and every time it happens. In life, you should never stop falling in love because the moment that you do, the colors start to fade.

We’re cursed to forever draw comparisons between new experiences and memories.

Just as much as it is advantageous, having the ability to prop two things side by side, compare them and analyze them, is also what damns us to a life riddled with sadness and disappointment.

Accepting that the lows in life are necessary for the highs isn’t built into our nature.

We are creatures who never want to lose. We never want to lessen our holdings, our place in the world and social circles.

We are individuals who fear loss. When we take a look at experiences we’ve had and emotions that we’ve felt, we compare them to what it is that we are feeling at the present moment.

While memories allow us to look back fondly, they simultaneously lessen the pleasure that we receive from what we are now experiencing.

Because we hate losing, we love the idea of always rising higher, always getting more, experiencing something novel and, above all else, improving.

We’re in a constant competition with ourselves trying to outdo our pleasant moments in life with more pleasant and more memorable ones.

All of this, however, is an illusion – a trick that we play on ourselves. And it’s this constant pursuit of that higher high that will make you feel as if you’re constantly on the losing team.

To win in life and to form a successful partnership, you have to learn to appreciate the uniqueness of every moment you live.

Every little thing that you see and experience in life is different from everything else that you have ever experienced.

No two seconds in your life will ever be the same. No two moments will ever taste exactly like another, nor will you ever again live this very minute of your life.

We all live on borrowed time. The person you are this very second is not the person you were the last.

The difference may be minuscule, unnoticeable even. Yet, a difference there is. When looking over a wider span of time, it’s readily noticeable how much we change as people.

This very same principle applies to every person in the world. It applies to your friends, your family, your colleagues and your lovers.

Every moment you spend with the person you love is a moment you will never get back.

It’s a moment in time that ceases to exist as soon as it comes into being.

The time that you have with the one you love is time that you ought to cherish, regardless of how it makes you feel compared to how other moments in your life made you feel.

What you once felt is gone. You can’t live in past, allowing fossilized emotions to influence your decisions. What you are feeling right now is the only time in your life that you will feel exactly that way.

This moment is unique. It isn’t duplicable and therefore it should be appreciated.

Because we take each moment for granted, we lose sight of the fact that love is a living thing that needs to be nurtured.

The secret to loving, lasting relationships is simple. You need to fall in love with the person all over again and do so as often as possible.

We all remember that moment when we come to realize that this stranger we met not too long ago holds great value to us, the moment we realize that we care about this person as much as we care about ourselves.

This magical moment will almost certainly never be as magical as it was the first time around. When you fall in love with someone the first time, the novelty of it all intensifies the experience.

It raises your awareness of both the individual you love and the emotions you’re experiencing.

The first time will always be the most intense of times if only because of that extra stimulant.

This, however, does not mean that falling in love over and over again with the same individual isn’t possible.

All it means is that falling in love with this person will never feel the same as it did the first time around.

It will feel different each and every time and it will be for different reasons, under different conditions and circumstances.

Nevertheless, falling in love continuously over a lifetime with that single person is not only possible, but necessary in order for you to be part of the sort of relationship you’ve always dreamed of.

What you cannot allow yourself to do, however, is to spend time comparing the way that you are now feeling to the way that you felt initially when Cupid struck his arrow.

Doing so will only nullify the emotions that you should be feeling. The past will drown out the present if you don’t learn to love the moment for what it is alone and nothing else.

Don’t run from fear of losing love. You can’t lose it. You can only stop creating it.

[c/o P. Hudson]

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All you need is…

Love

Our culture has tried to redefine “love” to be nothing more than a feeling, but love is so much more than that. In every healthy relationship, if someone really loves you, they’ll do the following (and you should these for them as well) irrespective of the type of love – kinship, friendship, or a relationship.

This is the “litmus test” of love. If someone truly loves you…

1. They will give to you even when you are in no position to repay.

When you do good for those who can do good for you, that’s not love; that’s networking! Love requires giving to someone with no thought of how it might be repaid. Love can never be repaid. Love can only be freely given and freely received.

2. They will work to heal your old wounds and protect you from new wounds.

If you love someone, you must be the one who wipes away their tears, not the one who causes them! Love promotes healing for the past, peace for the present and protection for the future.

3. They will accept you at your worst while helping you become your best.

If someone really loves you, they won’t try to change you, but they also won’t let you settle for anything less. Real love means being completely committed to someone even when they are being completely unlovable. If someone really loves you, they’ll believe in you even in those moments when you struggle to believe in yourself.

4. They will NEVER give up on you!

Love is rooted in commitment, not convenience. Love is a choice, not a feeling. If someone really loves you, their commitment to you will endure through any circumstances life throws your way.

Here’s love in a nutshell (straight from the source):

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

[c/o D. Willis]

Nightowls

According to ”Psychology Today,” intelligent people are more likely to be nocturnal than people with lower IQ scores. In a study run on young Americans, results showed that intelligent individuals went to bed later on weeknights and weekends than their less intelligent counterparts.

In ”Study Magazine,” Satoshi Kanazawa, a psychologist at the London School Of Economics And Political Science, reported that IQ average and sleeping patterns are most definitely related, proving that those who play under the moon are, indeed, more intelligent human beings.

His analysis goes back to ancient times, asserting the idea that even in primitive years, people have been known to rise and fall with the sun.

Average brains were conditioned to follow this sleep pattern, while the more inquisitive, intellectual ones want to defy that pattern and create their own.

It’s an unconscious defiance that comes from refusal to acquiesce to the idea of mass appeal.

These findings are reported by “Study Magazine” as such:

Bedtimes and wake-up times for Americans in their 20s by IQ.

Very Dull (IQ < 75)
Weekday: 11:41 pm -7:20 am
Weekend: 12:35 am -10:09 pm

Normal (90 < IQ 125)
Weekday: 12:29 am -7:52 am
Weekend: 1:44 am -11:07 am

Those with IQs less than 75 went to bed by 11:30 pm on weeknights in early adulthood, whereas those with IQs over 125 went to bed around after 12:30 am. This is no coincidence.

The data supports the notion that all night owls feel: the only real time for living is after everyone’s gone to bed.

Only after dark can we learn, absorb and study the effects of the day. It’s a necessary self reflection that few humans take the time to make.

There’s something to be said about those who fight the urge to sleep and explore that block of uncharted time that so many who always have their eyes closed will never see.

They Get Time To Daydream
All those dreams you can’t have during the day, when you’re snapped out of them by friends, family and work, are finally given time to run around.

Free to play in the open spaces of your mind, you can swim in all those thoughts you hid under your desk or behind mounds of paper work. It’s the most creative time of day, along with the most liberating.

It’s by the nightfall that your most uninhibited and passionate sides are explored. It’s the time to unleash your innermost desires and allow yourself the freedom that’s masked behind the taunting exposure of sunlight.

The night is for testing your limits and challenging yourself. It’s for discovering those passions you suppress all day and breaking down all those rules your parents made to protect you.

It’s the time to dig into those hidden corners of your mind and unknown trails of your subconscious. It’s a time of self-expression that can only be unlocked at night and evaluated by day.

They Are Anti-Establishment
Staying up late has been, and always will be, an act of rebellion. A defiance of the nine-to-five, the very habit of staying up late is revolutionary. Since ancient times, there is evidence that society condoned the night owls.

It’s no surprise that those willing to stay up late, to explore the uncharted territory of night, are more inquisitive.

They are more apt to make discoveries and challenge authority. They want to expand their mind, not shut it off just because people tell them it’s time for bed.

They Are More Open-Minded
Things that happen at night are things you can’t get away with during the day. It’s the time of utter licentiousness, of underhanded transactions and unseemly occupations.

It’s when the bars are opened and the poets write. It’s when musicians pore over instruments, geniuses have their breakthroughs and artists come alive.

Those who are willing to stay awake, who yearn for the mysteries of nightfall, are exposed to an array of discoveries that those who stay asleep will never know. It’s those who are willing to test their limits and explore in the dark who will bring more light to the day.

They Are Proactive
The early bird may get the worm, but the night owl gets the whole jar. While the early risers may get up to see the first worm crawl its way to the wet surface, the night owl gets to them before they burrow under.

Getting up early is most definitely proactive, but staying up late is just as fruitful. Those who stay up get hours ahead, rather than the one or two an early riser gains.

There are things to be explored at night that early risers will never experience. There are ideas formulated and tasks completed that early risers never get to finish.

Because at night, there is dawn and a new day in front of you. But by morning, there’s just the bleakness of night and the daunting end of another day.

[c/o L. Martin]

Banana Chocolate-Chip Protein Bars

Makes 12 bars

Ingredients

½ cup honey
½ cup almond butter
½ cup boxed coconut milk
¼ cup vanilla protein powder
1 tablespoon canola oil
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 cup rolled oats
2 cups crisp brown rice cereal
½ cup sliced almonds
½ cup dried banana chips, roughly chopped
½ cup mini chocolate chips, divided
½ teaspoon kosher salt
Nonstick cooking spray

Description

Coat a 9-by-9-inch baking dish with cooking spray and set aside.
 Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine honey, almond butter, coconut milk, protein powder, canola oil and vanilla. Stir and cook until mixture just begins to bubble, about 2 to 3 minutes. Remove from heat and set aside.

In a large bowl, combine oats, rice cereal, almonds, banana chips, ¼ cup chocolate chips and salt; toss well. 

Pour warm honey mixture over oatmeal mixture and stir gently with a spatula until well combined.

Transfer to baking dish, cover with parchment paper and press firmly into dish. Bake for 15 minutes. Sprinkle with remaining chocolate chips and allow to cool completely. Cut into bars or squares.

Nutrition Information Per Serving:Calories: 194; Total Fat: 9 grams; Saturated Fat: 2 grams; Total Carbohydrate: 23 grams; Sugars: 14 grams; Protein: 7 grams; Sodium: 59 milligrams; Cholesterol: 2 milligrams; Fiber: 2 grams

French Toast Skewers

Ingredients

6 thick bread slices
Powdered sugar
3 eggs
Fresh blueberries
Fresh strawberries
Splash vanilla extract
Splash almond milk
1 tablespoon coconut oil
A few dashes cinnamon
Skewers
Pure maple syrup

Directions

Crack eggs into bowl and whisk briefly to break yolks. Add almond milk, vanilla, and cinnamon, and combine thoroughly. Soak slices of bread in egg mixture, making sure to coat both sides.
If griddle or pan isn’t nonstick, heat up surface with coconut oil. Place coated bread slices onto griddle/pan, and cook until golden brown on both sides, flipping once. Remove from pan and let slices cool, then cut into bite-size pieces.
Stack bread pieces on skewers with strawberries and blueberries. Dust with powdered sugar, and serve with maple syrup.

How to…

Defrost a steak quickly!

An electricity-free steak-defrosting hack that will safely thaw a frozen steak about 1 centimeter thick in less than five minutes.
How?
Take two metal pots or pans, turn one over bottom up and place your vacuum-sealed steak flat on it. Then fill the other pot or pan with water and place it, topside up, on top of the steak. The weight of the water and its temperature, conducted by the metal, will speed thawing. In five minutes, so it’s said, your steak should be defrosted and ready to cook.

Of course, if you have more time, you can defrost the old-fashioned way, to plan ahead and defrost it a day in advance in the fridge. Meat defrosted this way will stay good for a few days,  though you can’t refreeze it, unless it’s in a stock, soup or liquid. (Don’t defrost meat at room temperature; meat kept at room temperature for more than two hours isn’t safe to eat.)

For same-day defrosting, you can use the cold-water method: Place the well-sealed package of meat in a large bowl filled with cold water and stick around to change the water every 30 minutes. Again, no refreezing.

Life lessons

Life lessons that many of us likely learned years ago, and have been reminded of ever since, but for whatever reason, haven’t fully grasped.

Let’s “get it” and “remember it” once and for all…

1.  The average human life is relatively short.

We know deep down that life is short, and that death will happen to all of us eventually, and yet we are infinitely surprised when it happens to someone we know.  It’s like walking up a flight of stairs with a distracted mind, and misjudging the final step.  You expected there to be one more stair than there is, and so you find yourself off balance for a moment, before your mind shifts back to the present moment and how the world really is.

LIVE your life TODAY!  Don’t ignore death, but don’t be afraid of it either.  Be afraid of a life you never lived because you were too afraid to take action.  Death is not the greatest loss in life.  The greatest loss is what dies inside you while you’re still alive.  Be bold.  Be courageous.  Be scared to death, and then take the next step anyway.

2.  You will only ever live the life you create for yourself.

Your life is yours alone.  Others can try to persuade you, but they can’t decide for you.  They can walk with you, but not in your shoes.  So make sure the path you decide to walk aligns with your own intuition and desires, and don’t be scared to switch paths or pave a new one when it makes sense.

Remember, it’s always better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than the top of the one you don’t.  Be productive and patient.  And realize that patience is not about waiting, but the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard for what you believe in.  This is your life, and it is made up entirely of your choices.  May your actions speak louder than your words.  May your life preach louder than your lips.  May your success be your noise in the end.

And if life only teaches you one thing, let it be that taking a passionate leap is always worth it.  Even if you have no idea where you’re going to land, be brave enough to step up to the edge of the unknown, and listen to your heart. 

3.  Being busy does NOT mean being productive.

Busyness isn’t a virtue, nor is it something to respect.  Though we all have seasons of crazy schedules, very few of us have a legitimate need to be busy ALL the time.  We simply don’t know how to live within our means, prioritize properly, and say no when we should.

Being busy rarely equates to productivity these days.  Just take a quick look around.  Busy people outnumber productive people by a wide margin.  Busy people are rushing all over the place, and running late half of the time.  They’re heading to work, conferences, meetings, social engagements, etc.  They barely have enough free time for family get-togethers and they rarely get enough sleep.  Yet, emails are shooting out of their smart phones like machine gun bullets, and their day planners are jammed to the brim with obligations.  Their busy schedule gives them an elevated sense of importance.  But it’s all an illusion.  They’re like hamsters running on a wheel.

Though being busy can make us feel more alive than anything else for a moment, the sensation is not sustainable long term.  We will inevitably, whether tomorrow or on our deathbed, come to wish that we spent less time in the buzz of busyness and more time actually living a purposeful life.

4.  Some kind of failure always occurs before success.

Most mistakes are unavoidable.  Learn to forgive yourself.  It’s not a problem to make them.  It’s only a problem if you never learn from them.

If you’re too afraid of failure, you can’t possibly do what needs to be done to be successful.  The solution to this problem is making friends with failure.  You want to know the difference between a master and a beginner?  The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.  Behind every great piece of art is a thousand failed attempts to make it, but these attempts are simply never shown to us.

Bottom line:  Just because it’s not happening now, doesn’t mean it never will.  Sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right. 

5.  Thinking and doing are two very different things.

Success never comes to look for you while you wait around thinking about it.

You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.  Knowledge is basically useless without action.  Good things don’t come to those who wait; they come to those who work on meaningful goals.  Ask yourself what’s really important and then have the courage to build your life around your answer.

And remember, if you wait until you feel 100% ready to begin, you’ll likely be waiting the rest of your life.

6.  You don’t have to wait for an apology to forgive.

Life gets much easier when you learn to accept all the apologies you never got.  The key is to be thankful for every experience – positive or negative.  It’s taking a step back and saying, “Thank you for the lesson.”  It’s realizing that grudges from the past are a perfect waste of today’s happiness, and that holding one is like letting unwanted company live rent free in your head.

Forgiveness is a promise – one you want to keep.  When you forgive someone you are making a promise not to hold the unchangeable past against your present self.  It has nothing to do with freeing a criminal of his or her crime, and everything to do with freeing yourself of the burden of being an eternal victim.

7.  Some people are simply the wrong match for you.

You will only ever be as great as the people you surround yourself with, so be brave enough to let go of those who keep bringing you down.  You shouldn’t force connections with people who constantly make you feel less than amazing.

If someone makes you feel uncomfortable and insecure every time you’re with them, for whatever reason, they’re probably not close friend material.  If they make you feel like you can’t be yourself, or if they make you “less than” in any way, don’t pursue a connection with them.  If you feel emotionally drained after hanging out with them or get a small hit of anxiety when you are reminded of them, listen to your intuition.  There are so many “right people” for you, who energize you and inspire you to be your best self.  It makes no sense to force it with people who are the wrong match for you.

8.  It’s not other people’s job to love you, it’s yours.

It’s important to be nice to others, but it’s even more important to be nice to yourself.  You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.  So make sure you don’t start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don’t value you.  Know your worth, even if they don’t.

Today, let someone love you just the way you are – as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as incomplete as you think you are.  Yes, let someone love you despite all of this, and let that someone be YOU.

9.  What you own is not who YOU are.

Stuff really is just stuff, and it has absolutely no bearing on who you are as a person.  Most of us can make do with much less than we think we need.  That’s a valuable reminder, especially in a hugely consumer-driven culture that focuses more on material things than meaningful connections and experiences.

You have to create your own culture.  Don’t watch TV, don’t read every fashion magazine, and don’t consume too much of the evening news.  Find the strength to fill your time with meaningful experiences.  The space and time you are occupying at this very moment is LIFE.  You’re giving your life away to marketing and media trickery, which is created by big companies to ultimately motivate you to want to dress a certain way, look a certain way, and be a certain way.  This is tragic, this kind of thinking.  What is real is YOU and your friends and your family, your loves, your highs, your hopes, your plans, your fears, etc.

Too often we’re told that we’re not important, we’re just peripheral to what is.  “Get a degree, get a job, get a car, get a house, and keep on getting.”  And it’s sad, because someday you’ll wake up and realize you’ve been tricked.  And all you’ll want then is to reclaim your mind by getting it out of the hands of the brainwashers who want to turn you into a drone that buys everything that isn’t needed to impress everyone that isn’t important.

10.  Everything changes, every second.

Embrace change and realize it happens for a reason.  It won’t always be obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it.

What you have today may become what you had by tomorrow.  You never know.  Things change, often spontaneously.  People and circumstances come and go.  Life doesn’t stop for anybody.  It moves rapidly and rushes from calm to chaos in a matter of seconds, and happens like this to people every day.  It’s likely happening to someone nearby right now.

Sometimes the shortest split second in time changes the direction of our lives.  A seemingly innocuous decision rattles our whole world like a meteorite striking Earth.  Entire lives have been swiveled and flipped upside down, for better or worse, on the strength of an unpredictable event.  And these events are always happening.

However good or bad a situation is now, it will change.  That’s the one thing you can count on.  So when life is good, enjoy it.  Don’t go looking for something better every second.  Happiness never comes to those who don’t appreciate what they have while they have it.

Your turn… roll your dice…

[L. Starr]

‘The One’

Love is a two-way street, all the side roads, cross roads, added traffic… it’s just testing you to see how great a driver and navigator you are. Never let anyone or anything sway you from the perfect love. Backgrounds, circumstances, friends, family and random things and people… they forge you but aren’t you. It’s not often I talk online about my wonderful husband and our family on our J.A.P Cupcakes blog… but as we’re celebrating our two year wedding anniversary (Yay!!) I thought it ‘right’ to post the following up for those of us ‘in love’, ‘who wish to be in love’, ‘who are seeking that Great Love’, and for all those parties ‘over love’… oh and before I get to carried away: here’s a shout out to my awesome amazing one-of-a-kind fantastic Hubby, he who is my best friend and oh, so perfect for me:

I love you Hubby! Happy 2 year Anniversary!!!!! 😀 xoxoxxx

 

‘We all want love, but we don’t always know what exactly to look for. There are many people on this planet, all slightly different from the next. Each individual looks differently, acts differently, has different traits, characteristics and habits. We all want love because we know, or have heard, how amazingly euphoric it feels.

We want to be in love because it makes us feel good. As an added bonus, to love someone has an intrinsic sense of nobility to it – to love is to be good, to do right, to live correctly. The concept of love boosts your ego immensely. But there’s more to it, isn’t there? The reason we hold love in such high regard is because it is said that to truly love means to be selfless.

When you love someone, you hold his or her well-being on the same level as your own, occasionally even higher. The reason for this is that you see something in that person that makes you feel as if he or she is a part of you – a part you can’t live happily without. You relate. You understand each other on a deeply meaningful level.

I believe that human beings are only searching for two things in life: to be remembered and to be understood. Love is the fusion of both these two basic psychological needs. It’s finding that person that sees you as you, that relates to you and truly understands you, that is finding love. In all honesty, it isn’t a simple task defining the sort of understanding that I am describing here.

It’s almost as if it goes beyond understanding to knowing – the right person is the person that somehow, by whatever miracle, knows you. He or she knows you and knows you all the way to the deepest and darkest corners of you. He or she knows and understands you without you having to tell him or her all of your secrets, as if he or she were in on them from the start. He or she knows you in a way that no one else knows you. Hell, he or she may very well know you better than you know yourself.

You connect because there is something about the two of you that you can relate on, something that links you together and makes you feel as if you found the missing piece of your puzzle. You recognize each other as part of the other. You may be different in a million ways, but there is some way, some invisible force that draws the two of you together.

You feel as if you were two sides of the same coin, and for this reason may very well understand things about the person you love that he or she has yet to discover on his or her own. What makes life such a profound and transformative experience is that it literally changes us. We get introduced to ourselves more intimately and begin to unravel that mystery that we were born with. Once in love, you feel as if you understand both yourself and the world a bit better.

All this is because you found that person who understands you in a way that no one else does. That’s basically what it really comes down to. Sure, appearances, chemistry, life goals and whatnot also matter, but, in the end, if you don’t have this understanding of each other, then you won’t last.

The spark that we so often hear of is that moment that we come to learn that we have found someone who knows us like no other. It’s the light that pushes back the shadows and gives us a brighter look at our reality. This means that the only way to really keep that spark alive is never to stop our lovers from growing as individuals, but instead to constantly be the light that helps reveal them to themselves.

What most people fail to realize, or fail to accept, is that understanding something, a living something, is to only understand it at the moment of understanding. Living things change with time; every second something changes and your understanding is incomplete.

This is even more obvious when it comes to people. People change. They change all the time. Sure, some of their major principles may remain intact over the years, but nevertheless these people will change in other ways.

With time, people either get to know themselves better or get further caught up in their delusions. Time doesn’t always bring knowledge and understanding – not unless we continue to observe, learn and interact. Life is an enormous mystery, and we ourselves the pinnacle of wonder.

We shouldn’t exist. There’s plenty there to work on understanding for the rest of your life. But you have to remain curious and have someone there who can help you. Life isn’t meant to be lived alone.’

[Elite Daily]

Chemistry

The chemistry in a relationship… what it really is:

It’s one thing to have feelings for someone, it’s another to have that indescribable, instant connection that immediately draws the two of you together.

When you and your partner have good chemistry it’s like witnessing a waterfall. It’s an instant ease that washes over you and makes you feel perfect without even trying.
Especially in the beginning, when everything is new and yet-to-be-discovered, it’s hard to differentiate between what’s spark-worthy and what’s just entertaining. Once you feel that special buzz, you’ll recognize what it is.

You know why you two are perfect for each other, and yet you’re not quite able to put your finger on it.

What is real chemistry?

1. You’re completely comfortable with yourself in front of the other person
You know it’s true chemistry when you don’t feel like you need to filter what you say or change who are you around them. You’re totally at ease with yourself because there’s a familiarity between the two of you.
You know that if you do slip and say something weird, they’ll find it all the more endearing. You can be the person you want to be and you don’t need to think twice about it afterwards.

2. You’re accepting of the other person’s obvious flaws
No one is perfect; but it doesn’t matter because you like this person’s flaws just as much as you admire their strengths.
We all have our apparent shortcomings, be it our vocabulary, our looks, our tempers or our tendency to snort when we laugh.
The person you have chemistry with recognizes these traits and easily moves past them. They know who you are and that’s way more important than the fact that you snore at night.

3. You both aren’t afraid to say how much you like each other
When real chemistry is involved, there’s no need to play games or to fake hard-to-get in order to intrigue your partner. It’s obvious early on that both of you are into each other.
And you’d prefer it that way too, since you have a hard time hiding your feelings anyway. You want to tell the other person how you feel.

4. You feel more confident around them
You know it’s chemistry when being around your partner has an immediate, positive effect on you. It takes little more than their sheer presence to build you up and boost your confidence.
You don’t need to hide anything — they want to know everything about you. This notion alone gives you the assurance to be yourself.

5. You share the same values
You both are in agreement that The Strokes trump The Smiths any day. Chocolate ice cream cones win out over vanilla every time. And rainy days, like sunny days, must be taken full advantage of. These are just the non-negotiables.
There’s something really special in finding the one other person whose idea of a good time is the same as yours.

6. … But aren’t afraid to challenge them on their beliefs
Even if you differ in your opinions, the chemistry is still there when you’re able to comfortably question the other person and know they won’t retaliate. You two have an open dialogue right off the bat, which ultimately brings you both closer.

7. You aren’t thinking about other people when you’re together
You know you genuinely have chemistry with someone when they are the only person who occupies your thoughts.

You don’t need to fill your mind with other people because you have the most enthralling thing in front of you. Chemistry prevents you from succumbing to distractions and keeps you focused on the person who is present.

8. You aren’t afraid to touch or lock eyes
Not only can you not keep your hands off each other, but you also can’t look away from them. It’s a sign of a certain comfortability when you are able to hold your partner’s gaze.

9. You respect their vulnerability
You want them to be completely candid around you, and you respect them without judgment when they admit something difficult. You don’t censor yourself either. You both want to get to know the other on a deeper level, and that means opening up and making ourselves vulnerable.

10. You know what the other person is about to say… and you let them finish
It’s the instant inside jokes and bonafide excitement that prevents you from going a day without speaking. Even though you can already finish each other’s thoughts, you want to hear them say it themself. It just sounds better.

11. You both happily compromise
Right off the bat, you are fulfilled when you see this other person happy. You commit to things you wouldn’t normally try simply because you know you’ll have fun just being around your partner.
Real chemistry means your compromises don’t feel like compromises because everyone wins if you’re together

[c/o L. Argintar]